Rules
of Etiquette for Inexperienced Cats
Posted by System Board on Thursday, 21 August 1997, at 10:34 p.m.
1.If you have to throw up, jump on to a chair quickly. If you can't manage
this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Shag is also good.
2.Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the
entire evening. He won't dare push you off and will even call you "nice
kitty." If you can arrange to have cat food on your breath,
so much the better.
3.For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select colors that
contrast with yourown.
4.Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything.
Just sit and stare.
5.For guests who say, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain, claws
applied to stockings, or a quick nip on the ankles.
6.Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on hind
legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened for you, it
isn't necessary to use it. You always reserve the right to change
your mind.
7.If one person is busy and the other is idle, sit with the busy one. For
book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the
book itself.
8.For people doing work, sit on the paper being worked on. After being
removed for the second time, push anything moveable off the table, pencils,
pens, erasers, etc. one at a time.
9.Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing
at night between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.
10.When humans are holding the newspaper in front of them, be sure to jump
on the back of the paper. Humans love surprises.
11.When humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip on your tail in
their plate when they are not looking.
anasayfa | içindekiler
| giriş | türler
| üyeler | üye
kayıt | sağlık | ilanlar
| mesajlar | hikayeler
|
eş arayanlar | memorial |
resimler |linkler | sohbet
| veterinerler | basında kedi